The Weird Name Meme

Damn!! Just after I posted below and went on my usual Blogcrawl, I noticed that I was meme’d by K8 a couple of days ago! So without further ado please meet the rest of me!

1. Rock Star Me (first pet, current car): Pépé Passat, the iconic no armed drummer from the Mexican one hit wonder, Deff aza Post.

2. Gangsta Me (fave ice cream flava, fave type of shoe): Chocolate Chip Walking Boot (oh good grief!); he gonna boot a cap in yo ass!

3. Native American Me (fave colour, fave animal): Purple Chinchilla, smoked an enitre calumet and saw so far into space that he bumped into the back of his own head.

4. Soap Opera Star Me (middle name, city of birth): William Drogheda, had a bit part on the Thorn Birds, as the ranch.

5. Star Wars Character Me (first 3 letters of lastname- first 2 of first): Mcm-Ja, ethereal being (pronounced Mmmm-hic-Mmmm Jaah!). Takes the form of a smelly brown gas cloud. (See previous post)

6. Super Me (2nd Fave colour, Fave drink): The Black Margharita, who with his sidekick The Green Gringo keeps law and order in Mexican restaurants near you.

7. NASCAR Me (Both Grandfathers First Names): Willy Tom, ……. eh not too far off an actual NASCAR name. Nuff said.

8. Dancer Me (Name of fave scent/cologne/perfume, fave candy): Fahrenheit Space Dust, his dances are so modern 5 mins later they’re out of style. Famous for his heel slap.

9. Weatherman Me (5th Class Teacher’s last name, Major city beginning with same letter): Mathews Mendoza. Today there’ll be a slight air of disposition with frequent bouts of indifference leading to showers of who gives a fuck.

10. Spy Me (Fave season/holiday, flower): Banks Amorphophallus, keeping the world terrorflorist free since 1995. The ladies love him.

11. Cartoon Me (Fave fruit, fave item of clothing you’re wearing right now): Dragon Pants, dare you strike a match?

12. Hippie Me (What you ate for breakfast, fave tree): Hash Brown Birch, jah rastafariah.

13. Movie/Porn Star Me (First Pet, first street where you first lived): Pépé Marian Park. Has been out of work since 1963.

Thank fuck that’s over!
I’m sure who ever thought that one up designed it so that theirs was hilarious. I wouldn’t want to inflict this cruel exercise on anyone so I won’t tag anybody but if you really want to do it then please send a trackback!

It Wears Me Out

So there we were in McFools, Mandonkey, Giblets and I. It was a quiet night (Gorf wasn’t out); the recession must really be taking hold. We got around to talking about clothes and how we wear them, or wear them out to be precise. Everybody wears their clothes out differently; different parts of garments wear out more quickly than others.

 

In Mandonkey’s case, the first thing to go is the right knee. He says it’s from persistent kneeling at work and true enough every single pair of jeans he has the right knee worn out. With Giblets it’s the fraying of the leg hem caused by the fact that he wears his jeans with his arse between his knees and legs trailing on the ground, not because he’s down with the latest street fashion, it’s because he has no arse on which to hang a pair of jeans.

 

Me, I have to admit, it’s the gooch that wears out first, both in jeans and kecks. It’s down to my vegetarian diet and astounding talent for flatulence that completely and quite quickly disintegrates that portion of my attire.

 

So…. what’s it with you? What wears out on you first?

 

I don’t get it

I don’t get this whole U2 malarky, I really don’t.

I fail to see how four decidedly average musicians who write consistently average songs for mind numbingly average albums can whip hordes of ordinarily average people into a U2 hungry delirium, the likes of which causes some of them to want to queue for four days on a cold Dublin street for their latest fix of musical banality.

I don’t get it.

I don’t get that when asked if I like U2 and reply that I don’t (a mortal sin for an Irishman) that I’m made feel as if I’ve just taken a dump on the Pope, on Easter Sunday, in St Peter’s Square, during communion.

I really don’t get it.

Enough is Enough!

The document was written in ‘a highly technical language’ was the reason Brian Lenihan, Minister for Finance, gave Six One News last night for not reading why Irish life and Permanent and Anglo Irish Bank sold us for suckers.

This is the same government that told us not to be bothered by the technical language in the Lisbon Treaty, they were on top of it and understanding technical language, after all, was what they were elected to do for us.

This country is haemorrhaging jobs at an alarming rate and the only thing the government has done so far to alleviate the situation was to dream up a half baked scheme to curtail public spending by imposing a pension tax on public sector workers.

The ill-Health Service is a shambles, a shameful operation run by bean counters and penny pinchers under the misguided leadership of a clinically obese, cantankerous slob whose lack of compassion, understanding and overall sense of moral decency has cost good people their lives.

But, by far the worst scourge of late in this Fair Isle of ours is the overwhelming attitude of apathy, evident by a 67% voter turnout in the last general election, shared by, what looks like, the entire population and driven by what I think is Ireland’s historical and insatiable love of the harmless rogue. We saw it with Haughey, Bertie and we’re seeing it now with the current shower of feckless rogues.

But, Wake UP Ireland, these ‘harmless’ rogues are costing people their livelihoods and their lives and what’s more, they know it, they don’t care and they’re laughing at us.

It’s time for them to go.

Holemaster and Maxi are scheming.

Get involved or get bent, it’s your choice, but remember, it’s also your country!

Just when you thought it was safe to…… yadda yadda yadda

So there I was all stuck for words lately, suffering from a severe dose of Bloggers block. I had great fun with K8, MaxiCane and Co recently but I still couldn’t have been arsed contributing on any sort of regular occasion. Then, as I was clearing out all the ‘Make your Mickey Massive’ emails from me inbox, I spotted this:

Hi Jack,

Sorry for the delay (in some cases the
really long delay). We have at
last approved your blog, Is this it? Is this really what it’s all about?,
for addition to the Irish Blog Directory

Check out the site and see who’s blogging from
your area.

Regards,

Irish Blog Directory Admin.

 

Well, it’s not before bloody time! I suppose I’d better scribble a few things a bit more regularly to make use of my new found fame.  Later!

News from the Front!!!

The Evil MaxiCane has kidnappd our glorious leader K8 the Gr8. Since proving my worth to the cause, I have been promoted to General. My first job was to locate the secret torture lair of the vile tyrant Cane.

I have sent in my best man Capt. Mick McFool. I can now bring an exclusive communique from the front. I must warn you Capt Mc Fool does suffer a bit from Schizophrenia and sometimes believes he is in command of a crack military unit, whereas he’s just a nutter playing alone in his spare bedroom!

I have yet to hear back from Capt. McFool to verify the success of the raid but so far it looks like we have managed to rescue our Queen.

All hail Queen K8!!!

May the Farce be with you!

Calling all Blogis everywhere. We are in dire need of your help against the SUCK!